Two and a Half Weeks

I've now been on eHarmony for over two and a half weeks and I have had over 100 matches! This is slightly overwhelming. After 3 days I was ready to call it quits and freeze my membership but my roommate convinced me to continue with it and see it through the 3 months. I kept a few "rules" while I continued and they are as follows: be open to all connections, respond to anyone who attempts to make contact, let the men initiate contact, and be honest if you don't like them. So here's a quick recap of the past two and a half weeks.


Week One:

Out of the gate I have 10 connections - looks like things are going well, :( of the 10 connections most are 5'8" or shorter. But maybe things will start to look better tomorrow......

Good news....30 connections (it should be noted that I have allowed for my matches to be anywhere in the world and the age ranges are from 27 - 40 although most matches have been in the 33-38 range and I said that height was EXTREMELY important to me, but they keep sending me matches who are 5'4" and 5'7" - this makes me wonder if eHarmony is really listening to me at all! I also said no to kids but yet several matches have had kids as well (maybe God is trying to tell me something).

I have now begun to respond to the matches who are sending me questions, based on looks (shallow I know, but I am being honest with where I'm at) I'm not being swept off my feet. Unfortunately pictures aren't always an accurate portrayal of how the person looks so I am still holding up to my original rule of responding to anyone who initiates contact with me. Even so there are a couple of matches that I have made connection with that seem to making a positive impression, they talk about their love for God, having God in their lives and being able to share that with others. There are four that are standing out to me right now and we shall see where it goes. It makes me a little anxious, what if I end up liking all of them? What happens if they don't like me once we talk? What if there's no connection once we meet up in person? for something that is supposed to be such a easy process, it is starting to get stressful.

This is when God sent me two articles that talked about dating:

"Dating is Not about Marriage"
http://www.christianitytoday.com/singles/newsletter/mind50601.html

and

"Five Commandments of Dating"
http://www.christianitytoday.com/singles/newsletter/mind61011.html

Both of these articles really spoke to me about looking at this to see what I can learn about myself, what I can learn about from the opposite sex and what I can learn about what I am looking for in a partner. So armed with this new knowledge I delved into week two with a new energy and spirit......


Week Two:

This week is filled with more of the same...answer the multiple choice questions, answer the open ended questions, send an email and maybe exchange phone numbers. There is a little twist to this week. I will be having my first face to face - this is really more taxing than the job interviewing process. It's like I have sent out my resume for hundreds of people to see, and now I have to go to the interviews. On the flip side I am also having to read through hundreds (okay not hundreds but a lot) of resumes trying to see who is worthy of interviewing. Can love be broken down into the three time interview process? If it can then I'm almost done. One face to face and it's over. - start ordering the catering service now mom.

The choices are getting taller (half 6'0" and over and half 5'9" or less sometimes much less) so I am I doomed to a destiny of ballet flats never to wear pumps again?

We shall see where the face off leads..

Until then, keep faith alive and just BELIEVE.

The Point of no Return

Ok I'm not sure what made me decide to do this....maybe I was tired of meeting non-christians men when I went out, maybe it was because I "think" that I'm ready for a relationship again, maybe it's a way of studying the male species and their behavior, whatever the reason I decided to try the world of online dating and try (da da dah.....) eHarmony.

I have seen many friends try eHarmony in the past with varied results. Some have had great luck (resulting in several marriages) and some have had some good dates and some have had no luck. So I (being the financially savy gal that I am) I looked on the internet and found a deal $30 for 3 months. That was just enough time for me to conduct this little experiment, and who knows, maybe a love connection.

"Sexless and the City"

When watching "Sex and the City" one night Carrie was entering yet another relationship charged thought/scene from her life as a single woman in her 30's living in NYC and I realized that although I could relate to some of her struggles (especially uIn the beginning God created man and when He saw that it was not good for man to be alone He created woman.....and really that's where this blog begins. Men and women were created with each other in mind, so why is it so hard for us to get together?

pon entering my 30's this past December and living in NYC - how she pulled off walking in heels I still don't know), I realized the one thing that was a HUGE difference in our lives (other than her fabulous collection of monolos) was SEX!

SEX a simple three letter word which in and of it self is not a "dirty" word yet many feel "dirty" even speaking it out loud. (I still know grown men and women who giggle at body terms, seriously.) How can this be...this is something God created, and created it to be beautiful between a husband and a wife. So what's the big deal?

Back to "Sex and the City". On the show Carrie and her friends are continually engaging in relationships (and I use that term loosely here) and I no longer can relate. Mainly because (da da dah)....I'm a Christian woman who's celibate and practicing a life of CHASTITY . Point blank - NO SEX (for those of you stuck in 3rd grade that means no getting to home base). Which in a city as sexually charged/focused as NYC leaves me with the seemingly the most hidious of all plagues - SEXLESS!. But really is it so much sex"less" as it is sex......later?

But I digress, after chatting with friends and two of my sisters (both younger & married, neither live in NYC) I realized that with sex or without sex.....the issue of relationships and how this whole thing is supposed to work - who pays for dinner, who asks who out, kissing on the first date, calling after how many days again? are all questions that (amazingly) no one knows the answer to for sure. Don't believe me go to any book store (Barnes and Noble on 66th is one of my favorites) and you will find HUNDREDS of books guiding men and women on how to interact with each other. Women and men living on different planets, "Rules" of engagement, even who should propose? It's so overwhelming that you don't know if you should even look at a man, let alone talk to one!

So how is a Christian woman to live "Sexless In the City" and still find the man of her dreams? In all honesty, I'm not sure, but I have a feeling this is going to be quite a journey, so come along with me on the first of many blogs in my attempt to find a man of God in NYC.